All My Bags Are Packed And I'm Ready To Go

Scene opens with passenger walking up aisle of church carrying a carry on bag. Walks down center aisle close to one side acting like going down the center aisle of a plane. Squeezes way past to front, and sits down facing the same way as the congregation. A few seconds after sitting down a voice of a flight attendant comes on.


"Welcome aboard Heavenly Airlines flight 7067 we'll be travelling non stop this afternoon to our final destination, Heaven."

Someone dressed as a flight attendant now stands up at the front of the aisle and begins to go threw the motions as the following is heard over the P.A. If we could get one for each aisle even better.

"If all passengers could please pay close attention to your flight attendant at this time. This plane is equipped with four emergency exits, one at the front two on the wings and one at the rear of the plane. The floor has light in it to direct you to your nearest exit in the event of an emergency. Seats belts are not available. In the event that the cabin is suddenly depressurized an oxygen mask will descend directly overhead. Place the mask over the mouth and nose and make sure the elastic fits snuggly over your head. Pull firmly on the chord and breath normally. The bag should not inflate." ….. "Of course none of this will happen. We at Heavenly Airlines know that old habits are hard to break, that is why we humor your flight attendants with the previous message."

"If however you experience sudden and infinite darkness, perhaps a burning sensation, large fire. You are on the wrong flight. Please take a moment to check your boarding pass. It is not to late, but don't wait as we may be leaving sooner than you think."

"We would ask at this time that you take some time to familiarize yourself with the Bibles found in your pew."

Flight attendants hold up Bible

"Are your bags packed? Are you ready to go? Thank you for choosing Heavenly Airlines, we know you will enjoy your stay!"